Dr. Kaul decided that she wanted me to be induced a week early because she was still worried about my placenta failing based on my changed due date. I wasn't thrilled but I just wanted the best for my little girl so I was OK with the situation. I was so exhausted from all the twice or three times a week drs. appointment that I was just so excited to finally meet my girl. This pregnancy may have been physically pretty easy, but emotionally I was about done.
When I first found out I was pregnant we were so thrilled and I just couldn't wait to have her. Almost immediately after we found out I began to bleed and was so sad thinking about losing my baby again. Rich and I were in the middle of moving to San Francisco and I was already not very happy about the situation and this just made things almost unbearable. I was bleeding and feeling so bad while trying to get the house in order and while Rich was out of town that I asked for a blessing from my home teachers. This was very difficult for me because I just want to keep my business my own and I don't like crying or being emotional in front of others. But I called anyway. And they came and gave me a blessing, but the blessing was more about me and not about my baby so I just felt like I lost her. The whole ride down to California I was so worried but I was also excited about our possibilities and I was still excited about my baby so we had a good time. I couldn't wait for my first appointment at 8 weeks so I could have an ultrasound and see my girl. I of course cried at the drs. office and she let me have an ultrasound (a tactic I used several times throughout the pregnancy) and my little peanut was alive and well! This changed my life and I could be happy again. I started walking and working out...but then the morning sickness hit. I basically stayed in bed all day for three weeks and poor Rich would come home from working all day and then take care of me. He was so great and he always takes such good care of me. Finally when the sickness went away I could get our again.
The weather was glorious. Walking by the water and through the Presidio was such a comforting time and I loved that I could be in such a beautiful place with my little girl. I started growing and loved my little belly so much. Unfortunately my little belly was too little for everyone else. My dr. was worried about Cana's size and sent me to a specialist who was also worried and said that she was in the 13th percentile for size. They told me to come in twice a week for testing for the next three months until she was born. I was so sensitive about my size because it reminded me that something could be wrong with my sweet baby. I felt in my heart that she was OK and I was trusting in the blessing that my Dad and Cana's Daddy gave her when we were in Boise over the summer, but it was hard to have faith sometimes. It was made worse when everyone who saw me commented on how tiny my belly was and just couldn't believe I was that far along. I cried everyday. I could be having a great time and then someone would talk about my size and I wouldn't be able to focus on anything but that the rest of the night. It was a very difficult time. Rich would laugh because he never thought that telling me I looked big that day would be what his pregnant wife wanted to hear most. But I made it through and tried to keep my spirits and faith up.
Finally the inducement day came and I was a nervous wreck. I paced the house all day trying to focus but my mind was racing. I just wanted my little girl to be healthy! That night Rich got home from work, took a shower, and then we were off to have a little girl. I just kept thinking as we drove to the hospital that the next time we were in the car we would have a tiny little baby with us. Once we were at the hospital everything went so fast. They hooked me up to Pitocin and then stuck me three times trying to get my IV in. The IV was the worst part about the pregnancy. It hurt! But once everything was taken care of they gave me a sleeping pill and Rich and I watched a show on origami that relaxed us both and we went to bed. The next day it was baby time! I don't even remember how it all really happened, but I think I woke up, they checked me, said I was ready, broke my water, I needed an epideral, told me to rest for an hour, and then pushing time. Rich and my nurse helped me push for a few minutes and they said I did a great job, Cana was just ready to come out. I loved watching Rich's face when Cana's head would peek through. He was so comforting to have with me during all of this, and I was genuinely have a really good time. I wasn't feeling anything and was just enjoying the process. I pushed a few times and then they went to get the dr. I pushed a few more times and out she came! It was surreal to see my child the first time held up in front of me and then put on my tummy. She was crying and purple but so beautiful. She stayed on me for about 15 minutes while the dr. took care of me. I just loved on her. I don't really know what else was going on around me because I was so focused and in love with my girl. The second I saw her I knew she was healthy and wasn't even small. She weighed in at 6 pounds 9 ounces and was perfectly perfect. Rich was such a great Dad right away and didn't let her out of his sight. He has been madly in love with this girl ever since. We then went to another room for two days and just enjoyed ourselves with our new little lady. People took care of us and we just relaxed. Breastfeeding was stressful and I had my doubts, but by the time I left I had a little more confidence and was pretty good in a few days. Our favorite nurse was Moy, she always called Cana "Cutie Cana" and would ask me if I had gone "peepee", she made us laugh but also was really helpful in teaching us how to be good parents.
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